Voices in my head

I find it cruel and yet funny how over the years our parents’ voices and opinions get engrained in our heads. As children we idolize them and do everything they say as if it is law. As teenagers we hate them and disagree with everything they say under the excuse that they don’t understand us. As Emerging Adults though we start to see them as what they really are: human beings just like us with their own faults and strengths. We begin to respect them, appreciate them and yet distance ourselves from them comfortably.
But we never escape them. As children it is drilled into us that they are the ultimate authority, and even though we know better now there is still some deeply rooted need to satisfy them or impress them. I know that I always hear my mom’s voice in my head when I do something questionable or when I am wrestling with tough choices; I know what she will say and how she would react and still sometimes use it as a guiding force through life.

I recently read Stanley Milgram’s book “Obedience and Authority” where he describes the process and results of his famous experiment. In it he asks volunteers to act as a ‘teacher’ for the ‘learner’ in the next room by reading out a list of word associations to the learner through a microphone, writing for their answer and shocking them if the answer is wrong. The shocks increase in intensity with each wrong answer and the purpose of the experiment is to see how far an individual will go to satisfy a figure of authority, in this case the experimenter.
I just think the ultimate figure of authority will always be our parent’s because whether we like it or not they are basically God to us, they created us!!! Parent-child relationships are definitely something to keep researching as theories on Emerging Adulthood continue their debate.