Adult Children of Adults

The continuity in parent-child relations as the child transitions from childhood to young adulthood is in interesting thing, sometimes it’s smooth, sometimes it’s messy. 

With some people I knew growing up, they always seemed to remain a child, and their parents would accept this and continue to care for them as so. I had a friend who recently worked on a film set of mine, and his mother drove him to set each morning, not caring that she had to get up at 5am each day for no purpose of her own. He also frequently has parties at his parents’ house, and the parents laugh and say “no illegal substances please!” Not surprisingly, he dropped out of school halfway through and is still figuring out what to do. He never seems discouraged, though, since he always has the financial and moral support of his parents. I have yet to decide if this is a good thing or not. It is good for someone to feel happy and accepted and not like a failure, but when that person is actually a failure, circumstances change and perhaps being happy with that life is no longer the best option. 

In “Parent-Child Relations During the Transition to Adulthood” Aquilino says that the level of closeness in early teenage years reflects onto the way this transition to adulthood is handled. Is parents were close and supportive of their children during these years, the same kind of relationship would exist as they became adults. Personally my parents have always been supportive of me, always open but with defined boundaries. I feel this has absolutely  been reflected as I’m in my Emerging Adulthood years, living apart from them. I feel we have a healthy adult to adult relationship and though there are still many aspects where I turn to them for help and more than once a week they tend to check in, I feel they understand I can fend for myself and are happy to let me do so.